i still cant believe the easter bunny died for our sins
When I am on my deathbed and looking back on my life I will be proud to say…
"I am glad I spent all my teenage years on the internet instead of being with my friends or partying or drinking or making sex or kissing boys. I made the most of my life and I wouldn’t take all those late night fangirl parties back for anything."
pretty girls who can pull off messy hair and no make up and have eyebrow game strong enough to kill half the population are a serious threat and i am afraid of them
“Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?”
"…I think the answer is that a circle has no beginning."
imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”GO CHOP SOME LUMBER
"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"
"Don’t you have something to fix somewhere."